This is a chronic behavior of mine.
When a situation, usually relational, has become cluttered with lots
of emotional variables, I remove it from my list of concerns. After a
short lapse of time, I become manic with the need to fix a problem.
Any problem. Let's solve world hunger, prove Jesus is the Messiah,
organize my file cabinet and rearrange the living room furniture. The
problem is no longer the problem, or never was to begin with.
This cuts to the core of my, (our)
need for control in our lives. It's not that the situation is too
confusing, or that I don't have a grasp on the emotions in play, or
even that I don't know how to most positively respond, (I usually
do). It's often because, I’ve found myself in a scenario that I
have very little influence upon yet the situation affects me greatly. Whether I
like it or not, I get to experience the foul moods of others, the
simplistic cycles of drama, and the obstinacy of conflict. At this point, the
psychological need to fix something, to establish feelings of control
and influence on my environment become paramount.
This is not a negative thing per se.
Like most of our emotional states, it's an indicator of a deeper
issue. The original situation may still be well outside your sphere
of control, but recognizing the real problem is far more important
than a thousand solutions to the wrong one. Regardless of what things
you are driven to accomplish during this cycle, you will inevitably
end up feeling even more helpless than when you started as the list
of fixes has done nothing to assuage your core feelings of
uneasiness.
Recognize what's really bothering you,
ask yourself how you really feel about it, and journal about it if you have to. Make sure your influence
on the situation is a positive one, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and
get on with your day.
Seriously though, your living room
hasn't even been dusted for 6 months. Shuffling the couches around is
not the worst thing that could happen.
This is so true as I can attest to in my own life, I rearranged my house this week. Though I have to say that for woman, if not men for I can not speak for them, there is something to be said about self medication such as cleaning or organizing. I am able to do both, the journaling and the project. And both satisfy that need to be in control and set aside the issues where I am not. I have learned though that the best self medication is just letting go.
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